My husband and I were married for 25 years. It was still a blissful marriage even though we have
no children. Our relationship was stable. We travelled overseas frequently. We both were also
anticipating our retirement in which we have long planned.
But one day this amicable relationship was disrupted due to my husband’s infidelity.
Both of us were matured adults in our fifties. It was beyond my comprehension of when, what and
how exactly the infidelity had happened.
He would come home for dinner everyday and we communicated daily so what went wrong?
Initially I thought that it’s only a matter of forgiving him however situation became more
complicated than I thought it should be.
The woman was in her thirties and the woman just bored him a child!
I was clueless of how to feel, how to confront with the issues, how I should interact with my
husband and there were a lot of unknowns that I dared not to unveil.
My husband told me honestly that the child needed an identity and he wished to reveal the
truth, not withholding any information from me.
This was the most turmoil moment of my life.
The suffocating feelings of betrayal and abandonment had suppressed me.
I sought out advices from alot of people, it seemed justifiable to seek legal consultation to recover my “losses” and protest my legal rights. However my husband would weep and express his wishes to keep the
marriage yet wanting to keep his relationship with the woman.
It might seem like I have more negotiation chips on hand and I could easily contest for the divorce
and had him to succumb to all the requests I wanted.
There were countless days where I found the only way out was to force him to make a decision between me and her. My family and friends had all advised me to divorce him and make sure he would walk away from me with nothing left in his pocket if he couldn’t leave the woman and the child.
This was when I met Teacher Li who I had an intense and deep conversation with. He guided me
and made me realized that I have to put aside of my displeasure and distanced myself from all those surrounding voices and supposedly goodwill advices. Instead of holding tight to my betrayal feelings, Mr Li suggested that I should focus on listening to my inner self and working through on what I truely desire.
Mr Li’s guidance had made me realised that me and my husband had a common ideology
of not wanting to leave each other. And both of us should bear this ideology in mind and worked
towards this common ground.
I invited my husband into Mr Li’s consultation sessions. Mr Li’s presence allowed me and my
husband to converse in an objective manner. And I also managed to not only voice out my inner
thoughts and feelings about this entire episode but also my husband’s deepest regrets and
difficulties. The fact was not only my husband had to choose between me and the third party, I
also had to make a difficult choice as well. Under the guidance of Mr Li, both me and my husband managed to voice out our inner fears amicably. And both of us ended up hugging each other, exchanged out heartfelt feelings and eventually we made a decision to….. (due to confidentiality issues, the rest is omitted).
To date, I am very relief that I made the decision to work through my inner feelings instead of
relying on the norms and voices that had surrounded me.
I sincerely appreciated Mr Li’s guidance that led me to see my true desires. And despite me and
my husband reaching our fifties, we finally learnt the true essences of a
lifelong lesson — Marriage.
