Category: Testimonials

The first time I met 李⽼师 (teacher) was because of a familial challenge at home. He was
introduced to me by a friend.
My 18-year-old daughter had left home for three months. She would occasionally contact her mother. The primary concern was that she was living with her boyfriend who was then having troubles with the law.
I have three sons but only one daughter and as a father, I was unable to accept that she ran away
from home, gave up her bright future for her desire to socialize with a dubious and undesirable person who was constantly on the fringe.
I have consulted many people before meeting with Teacher Li. Since my age is older than him, I
was awkward to address him as ⽼师 “teacher” so I could only call him “Mr. Li”.
Consulting Teacher Li was a turning point to my family challenges. He had accurately assessed
where the challenges lied and encouraged me to make adjustments in my attitude while
communicating with my daughter.
I didn’t agree with his point of view at the beginning. As the man in the house, it was important to set out the rule in the house. The main responsibility of a parent is to convey the right values to children. I couldn’t bear to compromise and allow my child to continue their wayward behaviour when obviously it was clearly a mistake. His recommendation was, in my opinion, detrimental to a father’s dignity.What Teacher Li suggested has also undermined my family rules and norms that were stemmed from the Chinese traditional family values. In addition, I have the responsibility to set the right example for my sons that family rules cannot be compromised.
Teacher Li intervened by a parents-child role play- he simulated a conversation with me, my
wife and our daughter. After several sessions of role playing, I gradually discovered that I am
able to better empathized with my daughter. Teacher Li thus suggested that I could try to break
the deadlock between my thought patterns and the communication styles. It was very difficult
for me at the beginning because I have always been a father with authority but under the pain
of no counter measures and my wife’s persuasion, I told myself that I must give it a try. The
breakthrough came when my daughter started to respond to me instead of talking to my
wife only. My daughter returned home during the holiday season for that year.
The journey for the subsequent next two years were tough, the adjustments had often than not
made my heart filled with self-doubt, self-blame and endless confusions. Though my daughter
and I started to interact, there were still constant conflicts that left me in despair. I am very
grateful to Teacher Li for his patience and tolerance towards my bad temper. Although I often
ended my conversation with him annoyed, I would make sure that I would invest time and effort
to reflect on his guidances in hope for  a better father and daughterrelationship.
My daughter is now 25 years old and has since returned to school. Although there were regrets
of her wasting her youth for that few years and could not graduate with her peers, I am still
comforted that my relationship with my daughter has improved tremendously. The change in my
parenting and communication style have resulted in a more intimated relationship with my sons as
well.
I really appreciated Teacher Li’s guidances. If I have not un-learnt by past parenting style and
re-learnt how to be a better and empathetic father, my daughter could perhaps, still be wandering
out there or engaged in illegal activities, even imprisoned with her boyfriend.

My husband and I were married for 25 years. It was still a blissful marriage even though we have
no children. Our relationship was stable. We travelled overseas frequently. We both were also
anticipating our retirement in which we have long planned.

But one day this amicable relationship was disrupted due to my husband’s infidelity.
Both of us were matured adults in our fifties. It was beyond my comprehension of when, what and
how exactly the infidelity had happened.

He would come home for dinner everyday and we communicated daily so what went wrong?
Initially I thought that it’s only a matter of forgiving him however situation became more
complicated than I thought it should be.
The woman was in her thirties and the woman just bored him a child!
I was clueless of how to feel, how to confront with the issues, how I should interact with my
husband and there were a lot of unknowns that I dared not to unveil.
My husband told me honestly that the child needed an identity and he wished to reveal the
truth, not withholding any information from me.
This was the most turmoil moment of my life.
The suffocating feelings of betrayal and abandonment had suppressed me.
I sought out advices from alot of people, it seemed justifiable to seek legal consultation to recover my “losses” and protest my legal rights. However my husband would weep and express his wishes to keep the
marriage yet wanting to keep his relationship with the woman.
It might seem like I have more negotiation chips on hand and I could easily contest for the divorce
and had him to succumb to all the requests I wanted.
There were countless days where I found the only way out was to force him to make a decision between me and her. My family and friends had all advised me to divorce him and make sure he would walk away from me with nothing left in his pocket if he couldn’t leave the woman and the child.

This was when I met Teacher Li who I had an intense and deep conversation with. He guided me
and made me realized that I have to put aside of my displeasure and distanced myself from all those surrounding voices and supposedly goodwill advices. Instead of holding tight to my betrayal feelings, Mr Li suggested that I should focus on listening to my inner self and working through on what I truely desire.
Mr Li’s guidance had made me realised that me and my husband had a common ideology
of not wanting to leave each other. And both of us should bear this ideology in mind and worked
towards this common ground.
I invited my husband into Mr Li’s consultation sessions. Mr Li’s presence allowed me and my
husband to converse in an objective manner. And I also managed to not only voice out my inner
thoughts and feelings about this entire episode but also my husband’s deepest regrets and
difficulties. The fact was not only my husband had to choose between me and the third party, I
also had to make a difficult choice as well. Under the guidance of Mr Li, both me and my husband managed to voice out our inner fears amicably. And both of us ended up hugging each other, exchanged out heartfelt feelings and eventually we made a decision to….. (due to confidentiality issues, the rest is omitted).
To date, I am very relief that I made the decision to work through my inner feelings instead of
relying on the norms and voices  that had surrounded me.
I sincerely appreciated Mr Li’s guidance that led me to see my true desires. And despite me and
my husband reaching our fifties, we finally learnt the true essences of a
lifelong lesson — Marriage.

When I was studying accounting at the Polytechnic Institute, my academic knowledge of accounting was identified to be better than my peers. My lecturer even assigned me to tutor my peers who were lacking behind in the
class.

This naturally set me to be on the pursuit of becoming a qualified accountant.

After graduation, I focused on obtaining an accounting license and it took me three years to
complete the credits required for me to qualify for an accounting license.
Upon entering into the workforce, I came to the hard realisation that what I had learnt in the institution had little application to my work. After practicing accounting for awhile, I realized that the ability
to perform a good job was way more important than exercising the accounting theories learnt in school.
I was thus overwhelmed by the enormous and cumbersome administrative affairs daily.
Administrative work is a prerequisite for most accounting processes and
this happened to be my main weakness.

I worked every day till late hours at night and my handled cases were endless.
That was when I began to think about changing my portfolio from accounting to
auditing. However, such a change was unsuccessful. At the same time I was deeply mired in the
plight of being complained by the client and meeting countless deadlines for my supervisor.
Upon the introduction of a friend, I met Teacher Li and the turning point for my career soon
came.

After consulting Teacher Li, he managed to evaluate my personality, learning styles hence
analyzed my strengths and weaknesses accurately. The conclusion was I was unsuitable for accounting work.

However, Teacher Li has brilliantly highlighted my strong capability in people management and
good financial analytical skills. Since it was assessed that I also have strong desire for money,
Teacher Li suggested that I should develop my career towards financial sales.
With the encouragement of Teacher Li, I diligently found a friend to refer me a job in a
bank setting. I started with a sales assistant position in the banking industry. As Mr. Li has
rightfully said, my professional knowledge in accounting served as a great asset in my
job position in the bank. I officially became the bank’s RM (Customer Relationship
Manager) after a year plus and have since served in the banking industry for three years. The
weaknesses to administer paperwork that plagued me in the past were no longer a hinderance to my job portfolio now.

The pressure to achieve quarterly sales target has gotten me all excited. I am delighted to chase after commissions rather than paperwork deadlines.  Honestly, I am much happier to be on a commission based bank portfolio, talking to my clients over meals than to do accounting in the office. My current annual salary is also an income
that I could not imagine three years ago. I am very grateful to Teacher Li for his sharp analysis
and guidance. To this day, I would still consult him on other issues in my personal and professional areas.
I have gained alot of insights from him over these years. Mr Li is truely my mentor.